Thursday, January 4, 2018

Winter Beauty Tips


I'm gonna give you some winter beauty tips (which is hilarious if you know me in real life.)

Step one:
Get a humidifier. Use it when you're sleeping. It's like a sleep spa.

Step two: If your face is dry you should get some Nivea Soft lotion. It's thick and amazing but won't make your skin feel greasy and gross. 

Step three: Everyone is sick. You don't want to be sick, so drink a lot of water, eat a lot of vitamin c, talk walks and get some of this delicious smelling hand sanitizer.  Yeah I know that's an oxymoron. Did I stutter? It smells phenomenal. It comes in a pack so give one to everyone you like or hoard it.

Step 4: Being a natural ginger is not the way to go. Being a salon ginger is the thing to do because you get red hair without being allergic to everything. I'm a little allergic to dumb things like toothpaste and my own spit. It's not great. My delicate, white, angel skin, as nice as it looks in photos, is super extra obnoxious in the winter. Also, I take HOT HOT HOT showers even though I know I'm not supposed to. (Is it hot enough? I dunno. Is the lobster that acts as my mine canary still alive? No, it's not hot enough.) Regardless, my scalp gets dry and gross in the winter so I bought some scalp lotion and it actually works. I didn't know scalp lotion was a thing until I went to Aveda and they were all like, "Girrrrrrllllll. What? Your scalp is DRY. You need to buy this $300 gift basket of scalp lotion." and I was like, "Oh, for sure. How about I write that down, not ever buy it, and buy something for less than $10 on Amazon instead?"

Step 5: It's winter so you're wearing black and gray all the time. This makes it a great time to dye your hair something crazy. If you want the color to last fooorrrrrreeeeevvvveeeeer use Pravana. My hair was purple with no significant fading for three months. It probably would still be purple if I was a patient person. It is Serious. 

Step 6: If you have static-y clothes put a safety pin somewhere on your person.

Step 7: Drink a lot of water.

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